Rai-key (rai_key) wrote,
Rai-key
rai_key

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So.
The more outgoing I feel, the more one sided my conversations seem.
The truth is so few truly listen, without having to share their opinion.
Look at internet forums.
there is that random comment that has nothing to do with the rest of the conversations and a whole bunch of people trying to make themselves look cool, good or whatever.
Maybe, it's good to be an unbiased person.
It's good to have opinions too, but also to allow other's to share theirs.
that is one ideal I actually can live up to.
As far as not wanting to be cool, not being greedy or even just helping poverty.
Getting above the madness of this world is an endeavor most people wish upon others, but can't do themselves.
Most days they are floating above my mind waiting for the day I can actually reach them.


Actual updates on my life?
Honestly, nothing is going on.
Family is well (knock on wood).
Both my jobs have been rocky.
Call it lack of confidence or concentration, but I know what my excuses are.
One place I have only been working every two weeks, so the minor problems are bit trying to deal with.
The other I'm just a night owl, I don't sleep enough and it is just plain difficult to begin with.
Dreams?
ha! the best time of the year to work on them and I can't decide what to do.
Still not motivated to do photography.
I may switch to web editing, because I like working from home and without people.
I've figured out my real "dream" is to be off my feet more often with benefits.
Photography and art are wonderful hobbies, but selling my work means compromising my ideas and that is not happening. (yes, I know I compromise my ideas at work, but I need to eat dammit).
friends
I'm starting to realize it is more important to find good friends, rather than just to find friends.
First step is to treat my current friends well and if new friends come all the better.
No new friends is fine too, because I really have no need for more friends.
Also, I've decided it is just fine to be nice to everyone, just because I don't like someone doesn't mean I have to say things about them or be snotty to them.
Honestly, I don't care if people are mean to me, I'd rather they weren't, but I can't control how other people behave. maybe there is something they can offer to this world...or maybe deep down they really are nice.
Interesting things:
Someone found a blue lobster. I'm playing tennis and possibly hanging out with a friend.

All that stuff about nihilism is starting to make sense.
First step: starting off from the beginning of philosophy.

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